Dirty Chai

The beginning of my junior year of college, I had a bit of a room mate issue. She and I did not mesh well, resulting in some not so savory words said on my part. Well, just before I was to switch rooms, I spent the night in the band room. This was for two reasons: I thought I should leave for my own safety, and I had a hefty assignment due the next day.

So, save for maybe two hours, I didn't get any sleep. Needless to say, I was exhausted when it came time to go to school. I got up early enough that I could go get some coffee from a local cafe. Here is what I got: four shots of esspresso mixed with an equal amount of chai. I gulped this down until only half remained and made my way back to campus.

As I got there, I saw Eric, my boyfriend at the time, now husband, about to get on a bus for some art trip. I let him have a swig of my drink, but he finished it off and gave me enough cash to get a new one. So back to the cafe I went, got another drink, and went to class. This all happened within fifteen minutes.

So, there I am in class, the one I had homework due in, no less, jittering in my seat from the large dose of caffien I just had. I start to calm myself down when my desk starts to shake. Then the walls, the floor.

Oh my god, I thought, I'm hallucinating on caffien!

The girl sitting next to me turns and says, "Dude, are you feeling this earthquake?!"

I let out a breath, put a hand to my heart and exclaim, "Oh, thank god! I'm not the only one!"

Kids say the cutest things 2

My niece Alanna was bearly able to talk at this time. She couldn't pronounce her f's or sh's. Instead of an f, she would say b, and instead of sh, she would say tch.

My mother and I got a laughing riot out of giving the poor girl a package of gold fish to snack on. Alanna would pick one up and try to say "fish". This evolved into her going "Fish fish fish fish." That was one of the best rides home ever.

O-fingies

I'm not quite sure how it came about, but as a child, if there was no word for something, I would make one up. That is how this story started.

Mom would wake me up in the morning to get me ready for school. I didn't yet know how to do my own hair, so she would do it for me. She'd brush though it, and at the time it was so long it went down to my hips. Then she would ask how I wanted it styled.

One day, though I don't remember when it started, I asked if she would put an o-fingie in my hair. For the life of her, she could not figure out what an o-fingie was. This went on for months.

Finally, she asked me what one was in such a way that she got her answer. I held up a hair tie that she would use to put my hair up and said "O-fingie."

To this day, we still use that word. It is less of a mouthful than "hair tie" or "pony tail holder."

Kids say the cutest things

When I was little, I had come down with the chicken pox. I honestly don't remember much of it because of how young I was, but something must have stuck.

A couple months later, I may have been a grand total of four years old, a man came to our house to fix the cable. He was covered in bright red freckles, which I had never seen before. I came up to him and asked, "do you have the chicken pox?"

He and Mom laughed it off, mom being slightly embarrassed. Later she told me what the freckles were.

Mom's name is Charlotte Ruth

My mother is a word play genius. Honestly, anything I can do doesn't even come close to holding a candle to her skill. Yet, I'm very glad to say that David got his wordplay skill from her.

Mom claims an illness called CRS, also known as Can't Remember Shit. So, while we are driving into the parking lot of our local Wal-Mart, she says to David and me, "Don't let me forget to grab _____. I've got CRS."

Without missing a beat, David says, "Oh, you mean Charlotte Ruth Syndrome."

Mom has to stop the car, she's laughing so hard.

Mom says funny things in her sleep

We had gotten home from school and David and I turned on the TV for our afternoon cartoons. Mom was usually sleepy, so she would take a nap on the living room couch. At the time, we were watching the original Mobil Suit Gundam. Amaro was the lead character. At the time, he was depressed and not really taking care of himself, so this little ball-robot-thing would float after him and say, "Eat, Amaro! Eat, Amaro!" David and I were happily chowing down on some of those cookies with chocolate on the bottom with stripes of chocolate on top, the little hole being in the center--I forget what they are called, but we got the dollar brand. Mom, in her sleepiness, says, "Who'd want to eat Amaro?"

David and I met eyes for a solid three seconds and nearly fell to the floor. I'm just glad we didn't choke on those damn cookies.

Of Vivi and Cid

There were many times, countless times, while I was growing up that David would get a new video game. Usually it would be an RPG for one of the playstations, most of them being any one of the Final Fantasy series. I would watch him play for hours, getting into the story, helping him, on occasion, spot the thing he needed in order to continue. Before the games had voice actors, there would be text boxes that would pop up like word balloons in a comic. He would read them to me, making different voices for different characters. In that way, I loved the games. They were a way for my brother to tell me stories. During the battles, we would both be nervous, during the dramatic scenes, we would both be wrapped up in them. It was a time in my life I would not trade for anything.